


Love in Idleness

by eponine119



Category: Lost
Genre: F/F, F/M, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, not really a romance for the pairings listed but they happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29075151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eponine119/pseuds/eponine119
Summary: Unexpected feelings arise after eating a strange jar of jam
Relationships: Charlie Pace/Hugo Reyes, Claire Littleton/Charlie Pace, Claire Littleton/John Locke, James "Sawyer" Ford/Jack Shephard, Juliet Burke/James "Sawyer" Ford, Kate Austen/Juliet Burke
Kudos: 6





	Love in Idleness

**Author's Note:**

> And maidens call it “love-in-idleness.”  
> Fetch me that flower. The herb I showed thee once.  
> The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid  
> Will make or man or woman madly dote  
> Upon the next live creature that it sees.  
> – A Midsummer Night's Dream

Love in Idleness  
by eponine119  
November 30, 2020

There are a number of people gathered around the large table in the outdoor kitchen for breakfast. Juliet glances at them all as she approaches, still feeling a little uncomfortable and new around them, though she would never show it. She sits down across from Kate, between Hurley and Jack. She looks at Sawyer and Charlie as she stirs her oatmeal. She's only a few minutes late; they've all just sat down to begin eating.

There's a glass jar in the center of the table. It's curious, because it doesn't have a Dharma logo on it. “Where did this come from?” she asks, picking it up. “Oldham's Magical Mango Jam,” she reads off the label. 

“It's good,” Hurley says. 

“Anything's better than plain oatmeal,” Kate agrees, and looks at Juliet. 

Juliet takes a small spoonful and puts it into her mouth. It's cloyingly sweet at first, and then it burns. It's all she can do not to spit it back out. “Who puts hot peppers in jam?” she asks, a little outraged by her surprise. 

“Hotter the better,” Sawyer announces, and she looks at him, even though she knows he does it just to contradict her. Her face feels flushed, and she's not sure it's from the spices. 

“Where's Claire?” Charlie asks, looking down toward the water. 

“She got up early with the baby,” Hurley answers. “I think she ate with --” 

“Locke,” Charlie says, and his voice is strangled. He jumps up from the table. Kate grabs at his sleeve, but he slips away easily. 

Charlie runs toward where Claire is standing on the beach. Claire doesn't notice, because she's otherwise engaged, and she's not alone. Locke's arms are around her, and they are kissing, deeply. Juliet squints at them, but it appears to be consensual. 

“Yeah, I guess I could see that coming,” Hurley says. 

They all just watch as Charlie comes up on the pair and begins to yell, gesticulating wildly. His words are carried away on the wind, as is the response that he gets. Even after the kiss ends, Locke and Claire remain pressed together, holding each other. After some more yelling, Charlie stomps away, up the beach. 

“I better, uh, go see if I can help,” Hurley says, getting up and going after Charlie. 

An uncomfortable silence over what they've just witnessed hangs over the table. Juliet catches Jack's eye questioningly. He shakes his head and looks down at his oatmeal. 

“What. The Fuck,” Sawyer says. Juliet looks at him, as do the others. He puts up one hand in protest of what he senses as outrage. “Y'all were thinkin' it. Mamacita and Mr. Clean? Didn't have that on my bingo card.” 

“They've been friends,” Kate says coldly. “Who are you to judge?” She glances at Juliet, and then looks back down at the oatmeal in her bowl. 

Juliet looks back at Sawyer, who isn't paying her any attention. She studies his face for a long time, and then decides she isn't hungry anymore. 

…

The day seems strange after that. Juliet can't put her finger on it, exactly. It just feels as though something's changed. 

She returns to the kitchen to wash the dishes as a way to contribute to the group and do her fair share. It gives her a wide view of the beach. Charlie sits off by himself, presumably staring into the ocean, but he keeps looking back over his shoulder. What he's looking at is Claire's tent, where she and Locke are conversing and rocking the baby in a cradle made of driftwood. 

“Guess there's a new love triangle,” Hurley says, coming into the kitchen. She looks up and smiles, expecting him to be getting a snack and then going on his way, but instead he stands next to her. “Want some help?” 

“You can dry,” she offers, and he grabs one of the rags they use for dishcloths. She hands him one of the cans they use for drinking glasses, and he works on wiping it off. 

“Hey, you ever, like, have a crush on anybody?” Hurley asks her. She raises an eyebrow at him curiously. He looks embarrassed, but persists. “Maybe on somebody who's never going to like you back that way?” 

For some reason, Sawyer comes into her mind. She feels an almost physical reaction to the thought. “Of course,” she replies. 

“What did you do about it?” Hurley asks her. He's stopped drying the dishes. 

She stops washing. “We're talking about you?” she asks. He nods. She follows his line of sight down the beach. “And Claire?” she guesses. 

“Not exactly.” Hurley's mouth gets small, and he looks absolutely miserable. 

“Oh,” Juliet says neutrally. 

“It's not gay,” he says quickly. “I mean, I'm cool with... all that. He's my friend. And all of a sudden, today, I can't stop thinking about him.” Hurley looks down and shifts his feet. “I just thought you might have some advice, is all.” He looks at her again, hopefully. 

Juliet takes a deep breath. She doesn't know what to say. “I would usually say tell him, except...” She looks back down the beach at Charlie, who is staring daggers at Claire and Locke. She looks back at Hurley with as much kindness as she can. 

“Yeah,” Hurley says. He sets the rag down gently. “Thanks anyway.” He shuffles off back to his shelter. 

Juliet looks down at the tub of dishes. 

“Lardo sure does have it bad.” 

She doesn't have to look to know who it is, but she turns anyway. Sawyer is behind her. He grabs a box of cereal off the shelf, opens it, and sticks his hand inside. He withdraws a couple of pieces and pops them into his mouth, chewing. Then his hand goes back into the box. 

“That's pretty gross,” she points out, then reaches up to brush back a strand of her hair, thinking that she's somehow accidentally absorbed Hurley's dudespeak. Disgusting as it is, she can't stop looking at Sawyer's strong forearm protruding from the box. He's perfectly tanned and the hair on his arms is golden in the sun. When he draws out another piece of cereal, she studies the ropey veins on the back of his hand. She looks at his mouth...

God, his mouth. 

“What?” Sawyer demands, and wipes his lips with the back of his hand. Then he waves his fingers in front of her face. “Anybody home?” He looks at her, almost concerned. “You okay, Blondie?” 

“I'm fine,” she says tightly, aware of the flush of heat in her upper chest. 

Sawyer relaxes back to neutral and crunches through some more cereal. “Never woulda guessed Hey Kool-aid had the hots for the Oasis wannabe.” 

“Do you lie awake at night thinking those up?” she asks him. He looks at her innocently. “They need some more work.” She puts the rag back into the dishpan, and turns to walk away. 

“You got any suggestions?” Sawyer calls after her. 

She can feel his eyes on her as she walks away. She doesn't look back.

…

Juliet lies down in her shelter for awhile, thinking the heat might be getting to her. She drinks an entire bottle of water. But every time she closes her eyes, she still sees him. Sawyer. She can't get him out of her head. 

So she gets up again to find something else to do. Someone finished the dishes – she wonders if it was him – and the laundry is empty. One of Jin's nets is lying in a heap and she remembers hearing Sun say something about it needing mending, so she picks it up.

She looks around the beach for Sawyer before she selects her spot by the water. She stares out at the waves as she untangles and turns the net, checking the knots, wondering what the hell she's doing. Was she hoping he'd see her sitting here alone, and, what, come declare his undying love for her? He can't stand her. She doesn't even rate a better nickname than her hair color.

“Hey.” It's Kate who drops down beside her.

“Hey,” Juliet says, welcoming her. She passes her a section of the net, and Kate goes to work on examining it.

They sit silently working and Juliet finds it strange. Kate doesn't seek her out; Kate has nothing to say to her, in general. 

Except when she does, apparently. 

“Remember when you dragged me out into the jungle and handcuffed us together?” Kate says.

“It was only a couple of weeks ago,” Juliet points out, and her heart sinks, anticipating yet another conversation about what a bad person she is. 

“For some reason, I can't stop thinking about it today,” Kate says. “And there's one thing I can't figure out.” 

“What's that?” Juliet asks. 

“Why me?” 

Juliet looks at her, surprised. 

“That's what I can't figure out,” Kate says. “Why did you choose me, instead of Sayid, or Jack, or Locke? Even Sawyer.” 

“Well, Sayid would have killed me,” is her immediate response. “And Sawyer wasn't even there.” 

Juliet flashes on a momentary image of Sawyer, with metal around his wrist, lying beside her in the jungle. She feels a liquid heat pour through her body. She closes her eyes for a second. 

When she opens them, Kate is still looking at her curiously. “It wasn't my choice,” Juliet answers truthfully. “It was Ben's.” 

“Oh.” Kate looks down at the net, and Juliet almost thinks she looks disappointed. “I thought maybe...” 

“My guess is that he thought I could handle you,” Juliet says. “Physically.” 

“Physically,” Kate repeats. 

“You're smaller, not as strong. Female. He probably thought I had a chance.” She thinks again about what might have happened if it had been Sawyer out there instead. He would have fought her, maybe pinned her –

She blinks and pushes the thoughts away. “Or maybe he thought you were the most important. To win over. But I failed at that.” She remembers Kate's anger, which has persisted. Until right now, which Juliet still doesn't understand. 

“I don't have a lot of female friends,” Kate says. 

Juliet looks at her, wondering what she's talking about. Kate is good friends with Sun, and Claire. 

Kate looks off at the ocean. “There was this woman I met once, in Iowa. We were alike. We understood each other. For some reason, I've been thinking about her a lot today, too.” 

Juliet watches Kate. She has a sense of how uncomfortable she feels, and something starts to turn over in her stomach even before Kate looks at her again. 

“I had a relationship with her, Juliet,” Kate says, with significance. 

“Why're you telling me this?” Juliet asks softly, even though she knows. 

“You and I are alike in a lot of ways,” Kate says. “So I thought, maybe --” 

Juliet looks at her with compassion and empathy, and she shakes her head. Kate drops her gaze back to the net. 

That's when they hear raised voices. The kind of raised voices that typically lead to raised fists. They both turn, and see Sawyer and Jack posturing over by the fire. 

Juliet rolls her eyes, wondering what they're fighting about now. She glances at Kate, and they get up together to approach the two men. 

They've almost reached them when things escalate. Sawyer puts his hand on Jack's chest to shove him. Juliet stretches out her hand to intervene, because she knows the next thing that's going to happen is that Sawyer's going to get Jack's fist in his face. 

But she's wrong. Sawyer's hand closes, clenching the fabric of Jack's shirt, drawing him in. Sawyer's open mouth slants over Jack's. Jack digs his fingers into Sawyer's hair, kissing him back. From where she's standing, Juliet thinks she can see Sawyer's tongue slide into Jack's mouth and it makes her sway on her feet. 

She wants to see it again. 

She wants to feel it.

Kate takes her hand, and it brings Juliet back to her senses. She looks at the two men, still kissing, hard. She looks at Kate, who raises her eyebrows questioningly. Juliet pulls away and walks into the jungle. 

She wraps her arms around herself, feeling completely irrational. Sawyer kissed Jack, she keeps thinking, and replaying the kiss in her head. Nothing that's happened today makes any sense.

Is everybody on this island somehow suddenly gay? she thinks. Sawyer, Jack, Kate, Hurley. 

But not her. She's inexplicably obsessed with Sawyer. Which, yes, he's hot, and she thought so before now. But she wasn't having fantasies about his fingers and his hands and handcuffs and his tongue. 

Not Charlie, she realizes. And not Claire and Locke. 

She remembers Hurley saying Claire got up early with the baby. Locke is usually up at sunrise to go hunting. They might have had breakfast together...

“It's the jam,” she says, as the pieces fall into place. 

…

They gather around the big table in the kitchen again. The glass jar is in the center of the table. Everyone stares at it. 

“You think that... caused all this?” Claire asks, and glances at Locke. They're holding hands. Charlie is glaring at them. Hurley watches Charlie. 

“How,” Jack says. “It doesn't make any sense.” 

“Neither does what's happened here today,” Juliet says. “You and Sawyer?” 

“C'mon, they've had sexual tension for months,” Charlie protests. “It was inevitable.” 

“And Claire and Locke have been friends,” Kate says. 

Juliet faces her. “But you and I aren't.” 

“I never knew you had it in you, Freckles,” Sawyer teases. Juliet feels her face get hot. Sawyer winces and cries out, and Juliet knows that Kate just stomped on his foot underneath the table. 

“We have to figure out an antidote,” Juliet says. 

“Wait, what about you?” Sawyer asks. 

Her heart swells that he's looking at her. Talking to her. “I only had a tiny bit,” Juliet reminds them. 

“You're sayin' you're unaffected? Nobody here caught your fancy?” 

“Oh my god, dude, it's you,” Hurley says, loudly, as though it should be perfectly obvious. 

Sawyer's forehead wrinkles in confusion, and Juliet puts her head down. She knows it'll give it away, but she doesn't want to see the look on his face. 

“It was you, even before this,” Hurley says. “None of this came out of nowhere. It's all stuff we've maybe felt and recessed, that's all.” 

“Repressed,” Locke corrects. 

“Shut up,” Charlie says. 

“Enough,” Jack interrupts before everyone can start talking all at once. “Juliet's right. We need to figure out an antidote. Or at least figure out how to control ourselves again.” 

Sawyer reaches out and snatches up the jar. 

“You're not taking it for your stash, Sawyer,” Kate says. 

“Golly, you're right, sweetness,” he says, sarcastic. “What I am doin' is what none of the rest of y'all yahoos thought of, which is reading the damn label.” He's quiet for a moment, stretching his arm to hold the jar at varying lengths away from his eyes until he finds one that must suit him. “Says it right there. Love potion, use to bring out repressed feelings, careful who you look at, yadda yadda.” 

“Really?” Jack asks. 

“Right there, jackass,” Sawyer taps his index finger against the label. 

“What does it say about reversing it?” Juliet says. He looks straight at her. It's a long, measuring look. She sets her mouth and looks right back, even though she can feel her stomach quivering. 

He smiles at her, and his dimples make her feel a little faint. 

Then he smacks the jar down on the table and the sound of it makes everyone jump. “Eat some more damn jam,” he says. “Who's got a spoon.” 

…

They all sit at the table together for a few minutes more after it's done. Like they're waiting to make sure that it works. No one is making eye contact. 

Then Jack announces, “I think I'm good.” He starts to get up, and that prompts everyone else. Kate goes to him, and they walk off together. So do Charlie and Claire. Hurley gives Juliet an uneasy look and hurries away. Locke vanishes on silent footsteps. 

That leaves Juliet, and Sawyer, and the bottle of jam. 

He flashes her a grin. “Freckles really hit on you, Blondie? That's kinda hot. Wish I'd been there.” 

“You should have seen yourself with Jack,” she volleys back. 

“You really have yourself a little crush on me?” Sawyer asks, and there's an undercurrent to his teasing. His eyes on hers are dark and intense and another wave of heat rolls through her. 

“I might need some more of that,” she says, dry-mouthed, thinking the antidote didn't work on her. 

“Or maybe it wasn't this,” he says, putting his hand on the cap and moving it away possessively. 

She arches one eyebrow. “You want to grab a spoon and put me out of my misery?” One little bite and he'll look at her differently.

“Maybe I don't need one,” he says. He gets up and starts to walk away, jar in hand. She sits still, breathing deeply to try to get control of herself again. “Juliet,” he calls to her and she raises her head in time to see him toss the jam jar. She catches it. “Read the label,” he suggests, and with his hands in his pockets, ambles off to his tent. 

She looks down at it. Turning it over in her hands, she reads the black hand-lettered text. Ingredients: Mango, jalapenos, water, pectin. Best before May 1976. Hand grown and produced by special recipe...

Juliet turns to look for Sawyer, but he's gone inside his tent. None of the things he read off to the group are written on this label. 

Which means he made it up. 

Which means there is no antidote, and that whatever just cured everyone is the greatest example of the placebo effect she's ever seen. 

And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't some kind of mind-altering jam in the first place. Maybe all that just happened. 

She isn't sure what to believe. Then she feels a solid hand on her arm. She knows from the heat of the touch that it's Sawyer even before she looks up into his eyes. He takes the jar out of her hand and puts it into the front pocket of his loose jeans. It'll go into his stash, she knows. 

“You gonna tell 'em?” he asks. 

“Are you?” she replies. 

He makes her wait for a moment before he smiles and shakes his head, letting his hair tumble down into his eyes. 

“What are you going to do?” she asks. 

“Nothin',” he says, and then gives her another smoldering look. “When you decide you wanna do something about it... if you want me to kiss you the way I kissed him... you just say the word.” His fingertips caress her arm, and then he's gone again. 

She wants to call him back, but she can't. 

(end)


End file.
